'Cat Person' may be a miss, but its pivotal sex scene is an all-timer

From Joy Ride to Oppenheimer, every time a new film dares to display sex on screen, there are swathes of complaints on social media about how these moments are inappropriate, tawdry, and wholly unnecessary. Into this fray comes Cat Person, which features a pivotal sex scene that’s sure to get people talking.

Sex scenes in films do so much more than offer cheap thrills and titillation — not that there’s anything wrong with either of those things! The sex scene in Cat Person advances the plot, tells us how characters handle the most intimate situations, and explores the shifting power dynamics between said characters.

If there was ever a sex scene made to shut down dissenting voices, you’ll find it in Cat Person.

What's the deal with Cat Person's sex scene?

Credit: Rialto Pictures

Directed by Susanna Fogel, Cat Person is based on the wildly popular New Yorker story of the same name, written by Kristen Roupenian. Cat Person follows Margot (Emilia Jones), a 20-year-old college sophomore, who sparks an unlikely relationship with Robert (Nicholas Braun), an older man who flirts with her at the movie theater where she works. While the film itself is wobbly, the best sequence happens after a long, awkward date between Margot and Robert. And what better way to cap the night than with a long, awkward sex scene?

As Robert puts on “Enjoy the Silence” by Depeche Mode (a great song, sure, but the lyrics “Words are very unnecessary/They can only do harm” is a crimson flag for a first sexual encounter), Margot scans the room, taking note of piles of dirty laundry and a used glass with some Coke in it — not exactly the kinds of things that inspire arousal. It’s then, in a brilliant touch, that Margot’s inner thoughts are exposed via another version of Margot, standing beside the bed watching. “Do we really wanna do this?” she asks herself. “We did…before,” Margot answers.

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It’s abundantly clear Margot doesn’t really want to have sex with Robert, agreeing to go along with it out of a sense of obligation. This comes from a larger issue, one that stems from gender dynamics at play in heterosexual interactions, the societal prioritization of male pleasure, and how Margot sees his pleasure as more important than her own. “It’s just easier to get it over with,” she justifies to herself.

Here, Margot accepts this is "unwanted sex" — consensual, but not desired. Margot chooses to sleep with Robert because she sees it as an act of courtesy, but also because she believes doing so will avoid a worse fate. Instead of focusing on the moment — Robert is on top of her, kissing her with unimaginably bad technique — Margot tries to focus on a moment earlier in her relationship with Robert when he kissed her tenderly on the forehead. It’s a fascinating tactic: Margot tries to remember a moment of genuine intimacy from weeks prior, clawing in the recesses of her mind for something that made her like Robert, as everything that’s currently happening is having the opposite effect. Margot is so detached from the idea of having sex with Robert that she tries to negotiate with herself as to why she’s even there in the first place.

As Robert flips Margot over to be on top, the camera closes in on their faces: Robert is in the moment, but Margot is detached, visibly unhappy. She notices the glow-in-the-dark stars on Robert’s ceiling and focuses in on them, mentally removing herself from the sex. The stars offer her a brief respite from physical and mental discomfort. As the camera closes in on Margot’s face, it feels as if Margot is leaving her physical self. That’s made clearer by the fact that her face becomes super-imposed over the stars, soon joined by the other version of Margot. Both watch her have sex, and realize that this needs to end.

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Cat Person’s sex scene is an uncomfortable stroke of genius.

Credit: Rialto Pictures

Cat Person explores the performative nature of sex. Sex is, in many ways, a performance; we make noises, exclamations, and movements to arouse not only ourselves but also our partners. Great sex, though, happens when that element comes naturally, rather than being put on to try and reach climax faster as a way of escape, which is what’s happening here. The lack of communication, as hinted by the use of “Enjoy the Silence” makes it practically impossible for Margot to enjoy sex with Robert, as she doesn’t feel like she can communicate her honest feelings without repercussion. Great sex also requires feeling safe with your partner — a vital element that Margot isn’t experiencing. Margot begins to act like a thrilled participant, practically cheering on Robert so he finishes, and so her miserable experience will finally come to an end. Sure enough, it works, and it’s finally over. “This is the worst life decision I’ve ever made,” she tells herself.

The sex scene in Cat Person explores some truly uncomfortable ideas, like how people are capable of mental gymnastics, justifying bad situations in the moment, reframing them in real time to make them more palatable — trying to find a way to find comfort with miserable circumstances as they happen. It also questions our abilities on a physical level, and how far we’re willing to take things, risking self-violation in order to appease another person.

When Robert exclaims to Margot that he’s “always wanted to fuck a girl with nice tits,” he means it as the highest compliment, though Margot is nauseated by the line that feels lifted from a bad porno. Robert seems to be enjoying the best sex of his life, while Margot is miserable, so much so that she literally disassociates. The scene stresses the value of communication in intimacy — if you can’t effectively express your honest desires, you’re not in for a pleasurable experience. But more importantly, Cat Person explores why that communication barrier is there: There’s no trust established between the pair. While Robert is having his greatest experience, Margot is having her worst. It also examines why people might choose to engage in sex, offering an answer far thornier and compelling than simple desire.

Margot has sex with Robert not because she wants to, but because she fears that not having sex with him would disappoint him. But it’s not only disappointment that Margot is afraid of — it’s that Robert’s disappointment could mutate into something more frightening; more violent. Sex here is a defense mechanism. It’s in this knotty sequence that all the previously suggested imbalances in their relationship become clear while laying the groundwork for a dramatic breakdown of their relationship to come.

Cat Person explores these complex ideas thoughtfully and intelligently, never blaming Margot for the situation she’s in. Instead, the film uses sex to explore murky power dynamics and the fear that naturally comes with vulnerability. Some might consider the third act of Cat Person to be a jarring shift — both in tone and from its short story inspiration — but the unpredictable and uncomfortable nature of this sequence actually sets it up perfectly. It’s a thought-provoking scene that showcases just how vital to cinema a great sex scene can be.

Cat Person is now playing in theaters.