Monday's football transfer rumours include Man Utd's interest in Adrien Rabiot, Barcelona proposing a Martin Odegaard swap deal, Victor Osimhen, Neymar & more.

We all have our own coping mechanisms when it comes to heartbreak – whether that be sobbing into a friend’s shoulder, drowning our sorrows at the pub, or consuming ungodly amounts of chocolate. But one man sought a very different form of solace when his marriage ended and, let’s just say, it all went a bit t*ts up. The man opened up about his misguided attempt to console himself in a post shared to the popular ‘Fesshole’ X/Twitter account, where people share their most personal – and mortifying – secrets. In the anonymous confession, he explained that he’d hired a unique form of stripper to keep him entertained at home but, in the end, it wasn’t the “treat” he’d imagined it would be. He wrote: “Having split from my wife I hired a naked cleaner as a treat to myself. “But I find it so awkward sitting in my house, while a young naked woman dusts that I've started going out when I know she's coming. “So I'm parked up somewhere hiding while a naked woman cleans my empty house.” The admission racked up more than 980,000 views and 7,900 likes in just three days as streams of commentators offered less-than-complimentary assessments of the situation. “Every sentence was exponentially more pathetic than the one before, well done, quite an achievement,” wrote one critic. “If watching someone clean in the nude is your idea of a treat, I can see why your wife dropped you,” added another. "Perhaps if you had a little more respect for women you'd still have a wife,” suggested a third. “You seem to be handling your divorce great, mate,” jibed a fourth. “Bro just get a regular cleaner or tell her to start wearing clothes. It would probably be a highlight in her day considering only creepy men hire her,” said a fifth. Meanwhile, others wanted to know how he’d found his… unique cleaning service. “Wondered if this was an actual thing. Since I'm WFH on my own laptop today, just had a quick Google,” one admitted. “There's a company that does this.” Then, throwing some conspiracy theory into the mix, they suggested that the anonymous confessor didn’t hire a naked cleaner but owns the naked cleaning company, and “want[ed] the free advertising.” All we can say is, we’ll stick to hoovering our own carpets, fully clothed, thanks. Sign up for our free Indy100 weekly newsletter Have your say in our news democracy. Click the upvote icon at the top of the page to help raise this article through the indy100 rankings

Iran’s foreign minister warned that new fronts would open against the US if it keeps up unequivocal support

Wisconsin Gov Tony Evers, a Democrat, used his line-item veto power to enact a state budget that increases spending for public schools for the next 400 years, The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel reported. Mr Evers used the broad powers given to Wisconsin governors to strike a hyphen and the “20” from a reference to the 2024-2025 school year. The line-item veto will make sure that the limits that the state imposes on school districts on how much they are allowed to raise per student will increase by $325 until 2425. The line-item veto will table debates between the two parties during the budget-writing season. Republicans control the state legislature in Wisconsin. Mr Evers said that the move would “provide school districts with predictable long-term increases for the foreseeable future.” Mr Evers also used his line-item veto to nullify much of Republicans’ proposed $3.5m tax cut that would have mostly slashed taxes on the state’s wealthiest residents. But Robin Vos, the speaker of the state House, decried the move. “Legislative Republicans worked tirelessly over the last few months to block Governor Evers’ liberal tax and spending agenda. Unfortunately, because of his powerful veto authority, he reinstated some of it today,” he said in a statement. Dan Rossmiller, who represents the Wisconsin Association of School Boards, said that while the permanent annual funding was “certainly appreciated,” the additional funding could vary depending on the school district and that the rate might not meet or exceed inflation rates in some districts. “I wish the amount would have been higher,” he said. “With inflation at 40-year highs, it's really important to be able to attract and retain teachers and staff, and to be able to pay the increased costs of everything in a school district's budget.” Republicans likely could not override Mr Evers’s action since they lack a veto-proof majority in the state legislature. Read More Watch live: Trump aide Walt Nauta attends court on charges related to classified documents DeSantis doubles down on ‘homophobic’ anti-Trump ad: ‘Totally fair game’

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