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CHICAGO--(BUSINESS WIRE)--Sep 19, 2023--

A husband has been flooded with support after he told his wife she’d need to quit her job if she wanted to have a second child. The man explained in a lengthy social media post that his wife has a career “that she loves” which sees her travelling or working night and weekend shifts for roughly half of the year. Describing himself as “the primary breadwinner” he explained that she earns approximately 40 per cent of what he makes – which covers the cost of childcare for their son plus “a little bit” extra. And yet, he said, he is also the primary caregiver. “When she is out of town for work, I have full responsibility for our child aside from the eight hours per day that he is in daycare (during which time I have to work),” he wrote. “It has been very hard being responsible for our child when she travels and on so many weekends. I feel like a single parent.” Complaining that his job is “demanding” he noted that he usually has to work after putting the little boy to bed, and “barely [has] time to clean the kitchen/house, etc., on top of [his] job.” The Reddit user then admitted that he’d told his wife he would only support her career if they stuck to one child, adding: “But if we have two (which is what we both want), that I don't think she can continue in her career.” He went on: “I just don't see how I can manage two kids for so many mornings – taking them both to school, daycare, events, and evenings and weekends entirely by myself, all while I am working full time.” Wrapping up his message in the AITA forum, he said his wife responded that she doesn’t want to leave her job, but will in order to have a second child. However, he concluded: “I fear she will quit and then resent me which will lead to bad times for all involved.” His post racked up more than 6,900 upvotes and 1,700 comments in a day as fellow Redditors offered their stance on the predicament. “I think your position is reasonable,” one wrote. “Children are a lot of work. “Your wife doesn’t seem to know how difficult it is because she’s not the primary caretaker. [...] I’d recommend couples counselling before she quits her job and you have a [second] child.” Meanwhile, a second commentator stressed: “It’s also important to note that wording matters - OP (the original poster) shouldn’t ask his wife to ‘quit her job’ and stay at home; instead, he should be careful to ask her to ‘switch careers’ to a different job with more family-friendly working hours.” A third argued: “She’s working way too much to call it much of a career, she should want more balance and to have more family time. I’d dig into why she’s [OK] to be away so much. “OP is doing the thing right and is asking for help before the emergency happens. Hopefully she can find something she enjoys with less crazed hours.” Meanwhile, a fifth pointed out that marriages must always be “equal partnerships”, and that no one parent should bear the brunt of the responsibilities. “You need to be an equal partner,” they said. “What that [looks] like can vary wildly in different families. For some that means both contributing to the finances and sharing the [in-home] responsibilities. For others that is one person doing [the] bulk of in-home while the other does the bulk of the financial contributions. Both and everything between are fine. They continued: “When one person is contributing to the bulk of the financial well-being of the family as well as the bulk of the in-home responsibilities though it is no longer an equal or even fair partnership. And the other person certainly shouldn't be making demands about adding to the already full plate of the other.” Concluding, they said that the mother “needs to evaluate her priorities and establish a better balance that supports her family as an equal partner”. Sign up for our free Indy100 weekly newsletter Have your say in our news democracy. Click the upvote icon at the top of the page to help raise this article through the indy100 rankings.

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Vladimir Putin will not attend a summit in South Africa next month – allowing the hosts to avoid a decision whether or not to arrest the Russian leader thanks to an international warrant over war crime allegations. As a signatory to the International Criminal Court (ICC) which issued the warrant, South Africa would be expected to detain Mr Putin once he sets foot in the country. Although it has refused to honour that obligation in the past, allowing safe passage to Sudan’s then-president Omar al-Bashir in 2015, who was facing allegations of war crimes against his own people. The ICC issued an arrest warrant for Mr Putin and Russia’s commissioner for children’s rights Maria Lvova-Belova in March in relation to the forced deportation of children from Ukraine to Russia . The announcement that Mr Putin will stay away from the two-day summit in August comes a day after court documents showed South Africa’s president Cyril Ramaphosa had sought permission from the ICC not to follow through with the arrest, saying it would amount to a “declaration of war”. South Africa’s largest opposition party, Democratic Alliance, had gone to court to try and compel authorities to carry out the arrest if Mr Putin arrived, but Mr Ramaphosa appeared dead set against the move. “South Africa has obvious problems with executing a request to arrest and surrender President Putin,” he said in an affidavit filed in late June but made public on Tuesday. “Russia has made it clear that arresting its sitting president would be a declaration of war. It would be inconsistent with our constitution to risk engaging in war with Russia.” On Wednesday, a statement from South Africa’s presidency said that by “mutual agreement” Russia would be represented by its foreign minister, Sergei Lavrov, at the summit of Brics nations – Brazil, China, India, Russia and South Africa. The Russian state RIA news agency later said, citing the Kremlin, that Mr Putin will take part in the summit via video call. Speaking just before the announcement by South Africa, the Kremlin’s spokesperson, Dmitri Peskov, told reporters that everyone understood – without having it explained to them – what an attempt to infringe on Mr Putin’s rights would mean. But he said that Russia did not tell South Africa that an arrest would mean war. The Kremlin has called the warrant issued against Mr Putin outrageous and legally void, because the country is not a member of the organisation. “No, no such formulations were uttered, no one gave anyone to understand that,” Mr Peskov said. “It is clear to everyone in this world what an attempt to infringe on the rights of the head of the Russian State means. So there is no need to explain anything to anyone here.” South Africa has been trying to deal with the issue of the arrest for months. It sees Russia has an ally, but clearly does not want to inflame tensions with Western nations either. South Africa has consistently abstained from voting at the United Nations to condemn Russia’s aggression, calling instead for dialogue to end the war. Claiming neutrality, the country is also part of efforts by a group of at least six African nations who recently embarked on a peace mission to Kyiv and Moscow to meet with both Mr Putin and Ukrainian president Volodymyr Zelensky. In his court submission, Mr Ramaphosa suggested such efforts might be jeopardised by an attempt to arrest Russia’s president. “An arrest of President Putin would introduce a new complication that would foreclose any peaceful solution,” he said. Reuters and Associated Press contributed to this report Read More The Body in the Woods | An Independent TV Original Documentary The harrowing discovery at centre of The Independent’s new documentary

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