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Most women feel ‘invisible’ and ‘unappreciated’ when they become mothers, new research has revealed. Instead of ‘having it all’, 72% of mums feel invisible and 93% feel unappreciated, unacknowledged or unseen once they’ve had children. Another 93% said that since having a child, their identity has been reduced to only being a mother. And the weight of expectation is huge, too, with 97% of mums questioned in the survey by the online motherhood community Peanut saying pressure is put on them to ‘do it all and be it all’. Plus, 94% believe they’re expected to put themselves last and self-sacrifice for their families, partners, jobs, and other responsibilities, so they can achieve what they feel is required of them. Nearly half of mums (46%) said they don’t feel supported by the healthcare system after giving birth, and 70% expected more support from society in general. As a result of this lack of support and invisibility, most women surveyed (95%) agreed there’s an impact on their mental health and wellbeing, with 86% having experienced anxiety, 82% feeling stressed, burned out or exhausted, and 80% feeling overwhelmed, or lonely and isolated. Other strong feelings identified by mums included irritability (78%), loss of identity (65%), feeling judged (66%), feeling unsupported (64%), guilt (63%), depression (55%), resentment (54%), worthlessness (50%), and neglect (24%). Women attributed the things making them feel invisible to unfair division of labour in the home, trying to juggle a career and childcare, lack of empathy and understanding from both family and everyone else, gaps in healthcare and mental health support, identity and independence struggles, hiding the pain of pregnancy loss, and general pressure from healthcare, education institutions and the media. Commenting on the findings, psychologist Dr Rachel Goldman said: “The invisibility of motherhood is a stark reality many face. The journey begins with frequent visits to healthcare providers, but once the child arrives, there’s a sudden gap, creating a sense of abandonment. Women grapple with overwhelming feelings of exhaustion and stress, only to confront rushed appointments where healthcare professionals don’t have time to adequately dive into concerns.” As a result of the research, Peanut has launched an Invisible Mothers campaign, featuring a State of Invisibility report, to draw attention to mums’ struggles and highlight ways to make them more visible and better supported. The report found mums think more empathy and gender equality will help them feel more visible, with 82% calling for flexible, family-friendly workplaces, 77% wanting equal and extended leave for both parents, and 71% saying an equal share of parenting tasks would help. Additional measures that will help mums, says Peanut, include more public toilets having changing facilities, additional resources for mental health support, support groups for both parents, and educational initiatives about gender stereotypes. The report also identified the most common unwanted questions that contribute to mothers’ feelings of invisibility, with alternative suggestions that women say they would prefer to hear. So instead of asking ‘How’s the baby?’, Peanut suggests mums are asked ‘How are you really – mentally, emotionally and physically?’, and rather than ‘Was the pregnancy planned?’, try ‘Are you excited?’, and change ‘How do you do it all?’ to ‘How’s the mental load?’. Goldman added: “It doesn’t take grand gestures to offer support. A genuine ‘how are you’ or ‘thinking of you’ can significantly shift perceptions, signalling to someone that they matter. Small changes or actions, like compassionate conversations, can have profound impacts. “By acknowledging and addressing these issues, we can begin to truly support motherhood.” Read More The best ways to work-out in 22 minutes – as study finds this is magic number for offsetting ‘negative impact of sitting’ What crops will we be growing in the future, as climate change alters the landscape? As Rebecca Adlington shares heart-breaking miscarriage news: How to support others experiencing baby loss What you need to know about new research into treating cervical cancer How to do Halloween make up and still take care of your skin Which houseplants best suit your star sign?

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Gary O’Neil painted a bleak picture of the situation at Wolves and admitted “no magic wand” will fix their problems after a 3-2 loss at Ipswich in the Carabao Cup third round. Wolves slumped to a fifth defeat in eight matches under the former Bournemouth manager, who only took over on August 9 following the departure of Julen Lopetegui by mutual consent. O’Neil made 10 changes for the Portman Road clash and despite taking a 2-0 lead via goals by Hwang Hee-chan and Toti, the Premier League outfit were on the end of an upset after Championship high-flyers Ipswich responded through Omari Hutchinson, Freddie Ladapo and Jack Taylor. We are six weeks into a process and there is no magic wand Gary O'Neil Asked for a message to disgruntled Wolves supporters, O’Neil insisted: “To stick with the group. “We are six weeks into a process and there is no magic wand. I can guarantee you when I arrived the place was not running perfectly and ready to go into a Premier League season. “There are a lot of things that need fixing and of course I am willing to take responsibility, but the facts are you need some time to put things in place. That does not look like a team that I have worked with for very long at this moment, which it isn’t. “Do I accept that we need to get results? Of course. Do I want the fans to enjoy every game we play and come away and support the players? Of course and we will work tirelessly to make sure we get it there and we will get it there. “But there is no transfer window. The transfer window is closed and we are together as we are and need to get the maximum out of the group. “We’ve named a strong team with 11 players that should be capable of winning here and we don’t, so it is my responsibility to make sure we get some more out of them.” Life does not get any easier for Wolves with Manchester City set to visit on Saturday and it will be a return to Molineux for Matheus Nunes, who left in a £53million deal last month. O’Neil pointed out the club’s net spend this summer when asked to reflect on the issues at the Black Country outfit. “I think when I arrived the culture of the club needed a shift and some of it needs to move towards more togetherness,” O’Neil admitted. “Yeah, there is a big list of things that need fixing. Of course I understand it is my responsibility and people will say, ‘they did fine last year,’ but the truth is they got 41 points and we made an £80million profit on players in the summer. “So, we’re £80million short of where we were and last year we got 41 points. “We need to move it from that in a more difficult situation now than the club was then player-wise, so that’s the facts of the job. I think when I arrived the culture of the club needed a shift and some of it needs to move towards more togetherness Gary O'Neil “I understood that when I took the job, I understand it now and every weekend is not going to be rosy. We’re going to suffer some tough weekends and we’ll need to crack on and go again.” While Wolves were left to reflect on a sorry defeat, Ipswich’s highly-rated manager Kieran McKenna toasted his own first win against top-flight opposition. After Hwang and Toti netted within 15 minutes, the Championship’s second-placed club continued their terrific form with three unanswered goals. Chelsea loanee Hutchinson started the comeback with a right-footed effort from eight-yards before Ladapo fired home inside the area before half-time. Taylor completed the turnaround with a 25-yard thunderbolt and the 58th-minute strike sent Ipswich into the fourth round of the competition for the first time since 2010. “We need to enjoy tonight because it is the first time we’ve had a Premier League team here in quite a few years,” McKenna acknowledged. “It is 11 years since we beat a Premier League team so a good night for progress and the regrowth of this football club again, but it is a cup game. “The result tonight does not win us anything but it is really significant as a marker point for the development of the squad, so we’ll take it as that and enjoy it for a sign of progress.” Read More Charity boss speaks out over ‘traumatic’ encounter with royal aide Ukraine war’s heaviest fight rages in east - follow live ‘We gifted them two goals’ says Millie Bright after England lose to Netherlands Manchester City hit by travel headache ahead of hectic fortnight Rob Edwards rues Luton’s lack of attacking quality after Carabao Cup exit

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