I was the little girl who daydreamed about her wedding day. But when the imaginary faceless man waiting for me at the end of the aisle became a beautiful woman, I realized that I had a lot to rethink. Weddings are tied to a long history of tradition, steeped in an extremely heteronormative binary. And as a queer person who has heard time and time again (and oftentimes not with the kindest of intentions) that my lifestyle is “alternative” (aka, explicitly not traditional), wading into the waters of wedding planning can be an emotionally loaded and complicated process. That’s because literally every moment of a wedding is entrenched in these binaries, which can feel uncomfortable for a queer person that doesn’t feel like they fit into them. If you’re in a queer couple that doesn’t adhere to these preconceived roles, reimagining your wedding from the ground up is a lot to take on.

Whether we like it or not, the tech we use often serves as a signal

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