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‘It can be hard when your kids leave the nest,’ mother says as study finds parents want their children back
‘It can be hard when your kids leave the nest,’ mother says as study finds parents want their children back
Two-thirds of parents whose children have left home would gladly have them back again. A study with 2,000 mums and dads whose children have left said they would like their children to live no further than 14 miles away from them on average. But 90 per cent were keen to support their child’s dream and let them have their own adventure. As a result, 53 per cent travelled with them for their moving-in day, and 15 per cent stayed in a hotel to ensure they were settled. For 14 per cent of those, this stay ended up being as long as a week to ensure their child was okay. The research was commissioned by Premier Inn, which has created a downloadable ‘Empty Resters’ guide in partnership with content creator and parent, Tracey Lea Sayer, aged 51, to help parents through this change. She said: “It can be hard when your kids leave the nest. “Driving them up to university for the first time, for example, is the last big thing parents get to do for them before they become an adult. ”Our tips cover lots of the issues parents will face when helping kids leave the nest. “From packing advice to making sure kids have essential life skills like how to use a washing machine or plan a food shop, it’s all here. “Helping to focus on practical matters can be really beneficial for parents who might feel overwhelmed with emotion – and it can also really help them feel useful to their kids.” The study also revealed 36 per cent proceeded to redecorate their child’s bedroom after they’d shipped out. But 28 per cent of these simply spruced up the room, making it more comfortable, for when they come back for the holidays. It also emerged kids are slightly more likely to move out and stay local than move a good distance away (57 per cent compared to 41 per cent). And 29 per cent of parents find their children come home weekly. Most kids moved away for university (32 per cent), but 29 per cent moved in with a partner and 10 per cent got their own place with friends. But while 65 per cent would be happy to have their kids move back in with them if needed, 45 per cent said their relationship with their child has improved since they left. However, kids shouldn’t expect a free ride – as 55 per cent of the parents polled, via OnePoll, would be expecting some cash in rent every month. And their child moving out has led to 28 per cent travelling more, 26 per cent having more disposable income and 23 per cent eating out more. ‘A new chapter in her life’ Tracey said her eldest daughter Franke left to go to University last year and said one thing that brought them closer was “preparing her for her university life,” which helped them “bond over the little things that signified a new chapter in her life.” Tracey added: “From the obligatory shopping trip for essential bits and bobs, to teaching her how to make the perfect scrambled eggs and navigate laundry instructions. “Buying essentials in advance made us both feel more prepared, it meant Frankie and I could spend some quality time together too. “Equipped with a checklist of essentials well in advance, the daunting moving-in date had arrived. “Having already familiarised myself with the layout of the city, the location of her accommodation and the proximity of nearby hotels for visits during term time, I found a certain sense of comfort when we arrived in her university city, which is a fair distance from home. “Learning these in advance put my mind to ease and made the moving process a lot smoother.” Here are some top tips from Tracey for parents who are finding it hard after their children moved away: 1. Spend quality time with your other kids: When Frankie left for university, I got to spend real quality time with my younger son. He is quieter and doesn’t need as much attention but now he has me all to himself. 2. Create a New Routine: Establish a new daily routine that fits with your new schedule. Don’t think you will have loads more free time though. The admin that comes with having a child at Uni is relentless. Your ‘To do’ list won’t get any shorter. Student housing, finance and travel all need organising. 3. Focus on Self-Care: Prioritise you for once. Your physical and emotional well-being is important. Try to exercise, eat well and de-stress. 4. Connect with Other Parents: Sharing your experiences can be hugely comforting. I chat to the ladies at my exercise class who are all going through the same thing. We share notes, get it all off our chests and have a right good laugh about all the things the kids are getting up to. 5. Embrace the three Stages: Grief, relief and joy. Of course, you are going to be sad and grieve when your child leaves home, but you will get used to it and weirdly quite quickly. There is a sense of relief once they have settled in and made new friends. It took about three months for it to not feel strange just coming home to the boys Read More Schoolgirls struggle to access basic period protection, research suggests Cost of living means parents have less time to play with children, according to poll When is Freshers’ Week 2023 and how can I make the most of it? Meghan Markle gives children a shoutout as she joins Prince Harry at Invictus Games How many children does Elon Musk have? Single woman’s day in a life video is met with vitriol after going viral
2023-09-13 22:47
Ex-Alabama star says Tide better off without Bryce Young, Will Anderson
Ex-Alabama star says Tide better off without Bryce Young, Will Anderson
Alabama football relied on hero ball from Bryce Young and Will Anderson too much in 2022, according to former quarterback Greg McElroy.By Alabama football standards, the 2022 season was a giant disappointment. Returning Heisman winning quarterback Bryce Young and All-American Will Anderson, the ...
2023-07-30 08:10
Man Utd report record Premier League revenues
Man Utd report record Premier League revenues
Manchester United on Thursday reported a Premier League record revenue figure of £648.4 million ($784 million) for the...
2023-10-26 19:54
Swiss Luxury Watchmakers Face Profit Squeeze From Stronger Franc
Swiss Luxury Watchmakers Face Profit Squeeze From Stronger Franc
Swiss luxury watchmakers who’ve weathered the rise of smartwatches, a pandemic and the highest inflation in decades say
2023-09-03 12:00
A cholera outbreak in Zimbabwe is suspected of killing more than 150 and is leaving many terrified
A cholera outbreak in Zimbabwe is suspected of killing more than 150 and is leaving many terrified
A cholera outbreak in Zimbabwe is suspected of killing more than 150 people and infecting more than 8,000
2023-11-20 21:07
Amazon sued by FTC and 17 states over allegations it inflates online prices and overcharges sellers
Amazon sued by FTC and 17 states over allegations it inflates online prices and overcharges sellers
The Federal Trade Commission and 17 state attorney generals filed an antitrust lawsuit against Amazon on Tuesday, alleging the e-commerce behemoth uses its position in the marketplace to inflate prices on other platforms, overcharge sellers and stifle competition
2023-09-27 00:38
Ireland’s ‘overly physical’ Women’s World Cup warm-up against Colombia abandoned
Ireland’s ‘overly physical’ Women’s World Cup warm-up against Colombia abandoned
The Republic of Ireland’s behind-closed-doors match against Colombia ahead of the Women’s World Cup was abandoned after 20 minutes after becoming “overly physical”. The PA news agency understands the decision was made following some rough challenges in Friday’s contest at Brisbane’s Meakin Park, and that Ireland midfielder Denise O’Sullivan was taken to hospital and is set to undergo a scan after sustaining a shin injury. A statement from the Football Association of Ireland said: “The behind-closed-doors game between the Ireland women’s national team and Colombia on Friday evening was ended after 20 minutes of play. “The game, which was held in Meakin Park, Brisbane, became overly physical and it was decided, following consultation with the match officials, to end the game. “The Ireland team then underwent a full training session to continue preparations for their opening game in FIFA Women’s World Cup 2023, against Australia in Sydney on July 20.” Vera Pauw’s Ireland team are also set to face Canada in Perth on July 26 and then Nigeria in Brisbane five days later, as the Girls in Green play at a major tournament finals for the first time in their history. Read More Charity boss speaks out over ‘traumatic’ encounter with royal aide Ukraine war’s heaviest fight rages in east - follow live
2023-07-14 20:35
Vegas 1 win from another Stanley Cup Final after 4-0 win over Stars in Game 3
Vegas 1 win from another Stanley Cup Final after 4-0 win over Stars in Game 3
Jonathan Marchessault and the Vegas Golden Knights are one more win from reaching another Stanley Cup Final
2023-05-24 10:59
Gary Smith hails Liga MX's Monterrey ahead of Leagues Cup semi-final battle
Gary Smith hails Liga MX's Monterrey ahead of Leagues Cup semi-final battle
Nashville SC head coach Gary Smith was full of praise for Liga MX side Monterrey ahead of their Leagues Cup clash.
2023-08-16 09:15
Man sparks debate for telling wife to choose between job and a second child
Man sparks debate for telling wife to choose between job and a second child
A husband has been flooded with support after he told his wife she’d need to quit her job if she wanted to have a second child. The man explained in a lengthy social media post that his wife has a career “that she loves” which sees her travelling or working night and weekend shifts for roughly half of the year. Describing himself as “the primary breadwinner” he explained that she earns approximately 40 per cent of what he makes – which covers the cost of childcare for their son plus “a little bit” extra. And yet, he said, he is also the primary caregiver. “When she is out of town for work, I have full responsibility for our child aside from the eight hours per day that he is in daycare (during which time I have to work),” he wrote. “It has been very hard being responsible for our child when she travels and on so many weekends. I feel like a single parent.” Complaining that his job is “demanding” he noted that he usually has to work after putting the little boy to bed, and “barely [has] time to clean the kitchen/house, etc., on top of [his] job.” The Reddit user then admitted that he’d told his wife he would only support her career if they stuck to one child, adding: “But if we have two (which is what we both want), that I don't think she can continue in her career.” He went on: “I just don't see how I can manage two kids for so many mornings – taking them both to school, daycare, events, and evenings and weekends entirely by myself, all while I am working full time.” Wrapping up his message in the AITA forum, he said his wife responded that she doesn’t want to leave her job, but will in order to have a second child. However, he concluded: “I fear she will quit and then resent me which will lead to bad times for all involved.” His post racked up more than 6,900 upvotes and 1,700 comments in a day as fellow Redditors offered their stance on the predicament. “I think your position is reasonable,” one wrote. “Children are a lot of work. “Your wife doesn’t seem to know how difficult it is because she’s not the primary caretaker. [...] I’d recommend couples counselling before she quits her job and you have a [second] child.” Meanwhile, a second commentator stressed: “It’s also important to note that wording matters - OP (the original poster) shouldn’t ask his wife to ‘quit her job’ and stay at home; instead, he should be careful to ask her to ‘switch careers’ to a different job with more family-friendly working hours.” A third argued: “She’s working way too much to call it much of a career, she should want more balance and to have more family time. I’d dig into why she’s [OK] to be away so much. “OP is doing the thing right and is asking for help before the emergency happens. Hopefully she can find something she enjoys with less crazed hours.” Meanwhile, a fifth pointed out that marriages must always be “equal partnerships”, and that no one parent should bear the brunt of the responsibilities. “You need to be an equal partner,” they said. “What that [looks] like can vary wildly in different families. For some that means both contributing to the finances and sharing the [in-home] responsibilities. For others that is one person doing [the] bulk of in-home while the other does the bulk of the financial contributions. Both and everything between are fine. They continued: “When one person is contributing to the bulk of the financial well-being of the family as well as the bulk of the in-home responsibilities though it is no longer an equal or even fair partnership. And the other person certainly shouldn't be making demands about adding to the already full plate of the other.” Concluding, they said that the mother “needs to evaluate her priorities and establish a better balance that supports her family as an equal partner”. Sign up for our free Indy100 weekly newsletter Have your say in our news democracy. Click the upvote icon at the top of the page to help raise this article through the indy100 rankings.
2023-10-04 19:17
Here's why Idaho student murder suspect Brian Kohberger may have chosen to 'stand silent' in court, experts say
Here's why Idaho student murder suspect Brian Kohberger may have chosen to 'stand silent' in court, experts say
Bryan Kohberger, the man accused of stabbing four Idaho college students to death, sat wordlessly in court during his arraignment on Wednesday as a judge read aloud the murder and burglary charges against him and asked whether the suspect was prepared to announce his plea.
2023-05-23 16:08
Outgoing CDC director says resignation spurred by sense of accomplishment and exhaustion
Outgoing CDC director says resignation spurred by sense of accomplishment and exhaustion
The outgoing head of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said her reasons for stepping down were complicated, driven in part by a desire to take a break from the frenetic pace of the job during a pandemic
2023-06-21 05:01