A husband has been flooded with support after he told his wife she’d need to quit her job if she wanted to have a second child. The man explained in a lengthy social media post that his wife has a career “that she loves” which sees her travelling or working night and weekend shifts for roughly half of the year. Describing himself as “the primary breadwinner” he explained that she earns approximately 40 per cent of what he makes – which covers the cost of childcare for their son plus “a little bit” extra. And yet, he said, he is also the primary caregiver. “When she is out of town for work, I have full responsibility for our child aside from the eight hours per day that he is in daycare (during which time I have to work),” he wrote. “It has been very hard being responsible for our child when she travels and on so many weekends. I feel like a single parent.” Complaining that his job is “demanding” he noted that he usually has to work after putting the little boy to bed, and “barely [has] time to clean the kitchen/house, etc., on top of [his] job.” The Reddit user then admitted that he’d told his wife he would only support her career if they stuck to one child, adding: “But if we have two (which is what we both want), that I don't think she can continue in her career.” He went on: “I just don't see how I can manage two kids for so many mornings – taking them both to school, daycare, events, and evenings and weekends entirely by myself, all while I am working full time.” Wrapping up his message in the AITA forum, he said his wife responded that she doesn’t want to leave her job, but will in order to have a second child. However, he concluded: “I fear she will quit and then resent me which will lead to bad times for all involved.” His post racked up more than 6,900 upvotes and 1,700 comments in a day as fellow Redditors offered their stance on the predicament. “I think your position is reasonable,” one wrote. “Children are a lot of work. “Your wife doesn’t seem to know how difficult it is because she’s not the primary caretaker. [...] I’d recommend couples counselling before she quits her job and you have a [second] child.” Meanwhile, a second commentator stressed: “It’s also important to note that wording matters - OP (the original poster) shouldn’t ask his wife to ‘quit her job’ and stay at home; instead, he should be careful to ask her to ‘switch careers’ to a different job with more family-friendly working hours.” A third argued: “She’s working way too much to call it much of a career, she should want more balance and to have more family time. I’d dig into why she’s [OK] to be away so much. “OP is doing the thing right and is asking for help before the emergency happens. Hopefully she can find something she enjoys with less crazed hours.” Meanwhile, a fifth pointed out that marriages must always be “equal partnerships”, and that no one parent should bear the brunt of the responsibilities. “You need to be an equal partner,” they said. “What that [looks] like can vary wildly in different families. For some that means both contributing to the finances and sharing the [in-home] responsibilities. For others that is one person doing [the] bulk of in-home while the other does the bulk of the financial contributions. Both and everything between are fine. They continued: “When one person is contributing to the bulk of the financial well-being of the family as well as the bulk of the in-home responsibilities though it is no longer an equal or even fair partnership. And the other person certainly shouldn't be making demands about adding to the already full plate of the other.” Concluding, they said that the mother “needs to evaluate her priorities and establish a better balance that supports her family as an equal partner”. Sign up for our free Indy100 weekly newsletter Have your say in our news democracy. Click the upvote icon at the top of the page to help raise this article through the indy100 rankings.

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Talking to toddlers can help advance early brain development, scientists have found. Researchers from the University of East Anglia (UEA) discovered that two-and-a-half-year-olds who heard more speech in everyday life had more myelin – a substance that makes brain signals more efficient – in language-related areas of their brains. The researchers said their findings, published in the Journal of Neuroscience, demonstrate how talking to toddlers can shape their developing brain. Lead researcher Prof John Spencer, from UEA’s School of Psychology, said: “We know that children’s brains develop very rapidly in the first two years of life, with brain volume at about 80% that of an adult brain by the age of two. The message to caregivers is clear - talk to your baby, your toddler, your child. Not only are they listening, but your language input is literally shaping their brains Prof John Spencer “Myelin is made up of protein and fatty substances and forms an insulating layer around nerves in the brain.” He added: “Imagine you have a hosepipe with lots of holes in it. “Myelin is like wrapping the hosepipe with duct tape – it insulates neural fibres, bringing more of the ‘signal’ from one brain area to the next.” For the study, the researchers gave 163 babies and toddlers small recording devices to wear for three days. They analysed just over 6,000 hours of language data in total, which included words spoken by the children as well as speech from adults. When the children were asleep, the researchers carefully placed them in an MRI scanner to measure myelin in their brains. Prof Spencer said: “What we found is that the toddlers who heard more speech in their everyday environment also had more myelin, which is likely to support more sophisticated language processing. “In other words – talking to your kids is very important in early development as it helps to shape the brain.” The researchers said their study is one of the first to show that listening to speech is associated with brain structure early in development. Prof Spencer said: “Prior work showed a similar association in four to six-year-olds, but our findings push this association much earlier in development. “Indeed, we even found associations between language input and brain structure in six-month-old infants.” He added: “Although there is still much more to learn about these processes, the message to caregivers is clear – talk to your baby, your toddler, your child. “Not only are they listening, but your language input is literally shaping their brains.” Read More Charity boss speaks out over ‘traumatic’ encounter with royal aide Ukraine war’s heaviest fight rages in east - follow live Is your child too anxious to go to school? What’s the link between the menopause and anxiety? How to encourage green-fingered kids

--(BUSINESS WIRE)--Sep 7, 2023--

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Eurostar passengers departing from London can avoid one of two manual passport checks through a facial verification system. The launch of the technology at St Pancras station – which also removes the need to scan tickets – is aimed at easing congestion. To participate, passengers must use an app before travel to scan their identity document and verify their face and ticket. At the station they walk in front of a screen and have their face detected. If they are approved they can proceed through doors which open automatically. The SmartCheck system, developed by iProov, is available to Business Premier and Carte Blanche passengers. Users no longer need to have their passports scanned by Eurostar’s UK contractors carrying out exit checks. Bags are still being scanned by security staff and French border officials are continuing to check passports. It emerged earlier this year that Eurostar was being forced to leave hundreds of seats empty on trains to and from London to avoid long queues at stations. The situation has since improved but dozens of seats are not being offered for sale on some services. Enhanced post-Brexit checks carried out by French border officials have significantly increased the time it takes to process passengers at the station. Eurostar chief executive Gwendoline Cazenave said: “Providing a seamless station experience to our customers is a priority for Eurostar. “We continue looking for solutions to increase capacity in stations and simplify the passengers’ flows. “SmartCheck in St Pancras International station is a solution for a faster and seamless check-in experience. “By introducing SmartCheck, we become the first rail travel operator to adopt biometric face verification. “This innovation will enhance our customer departure journey, which is crucial to provide Eurostar’s unique travel experience.” Andrew Bud, chief executive of iProov, said: “The rollout of SmartCheck in Eurostar’s Business Premier check-in at London St Pancras is significant because it clearly demonstrates how facial biometric technology can be used to manage border control in a smarter and more efficient way, to benefit both organisations and passengers at scale. “By creating a biometric corridor, we are moving security checks away from the station, saving precious time and space at the border, streamlining the boarding process to one that’s far faster, more convenient, less crowded and stressful, yet even more secure.” Heathrow Airport began trialling facial biometric scanners in 2019 but the project was dropped when passenger numbers collapsed due to the coronavirus pandemic. Read More Charity boss speaks out over ‘traumatic’ encounter with royal aide Ukraine war’s heaviest fight rages in east - follow live ‘Hostile states using organised crime gangs as proxies in the UK’ Kim Kardashian, Rylan Clark and Dalai Lama among those joining new app Threads Mastercard helping banks predict scams before money leaves customers’ accounts

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