
Harry Kane sends farewell message to Tottenham fans
Harry Kane bids farewell to Tottenham fans after leaving for Bayern Munich. The 30-year-old's move was confirmed on Saturday morning in a deal worth €100m (£86.4m).
2023-08-12 16:30

J&J Weighs Third Bankruptcy Try to Settle Baby Powder Suits
Johnson & Johnson is weighing a third attempt to use bankruptcy for an $8.9 billion settlement of tens
2023-10-18 08:32

Judge temporarily blocks NYC's food delivery minimum wage law
A judge has blocked New York City's minimum wage law for food delivery workers from going into effect on July 12 after DoorDash and Grubhub filed a lawsuit against the city.
2023-07-08 07:18

Who won 'Too Hot To Handle' Season 5? Elys bags $100K only to share the spotlight with Dre
Elys claims victory in 'Too Hot To Handle' finale but chooses to share the glory, leaving with 50K as she splits the prize with Dre
2023-07-28 17:21

League of Legends Patch 13.5 Release Date
League of Legends Patch 13.5 will be released on March 8, which is exactly one week away. It will bring numerous changes and includes a Yuumi rework.
1970-01-01 08:00

Home hope Conners among leading quartet at tense Canadian Open
Canada's Corey Conners grabbed a share of the first-round lead on Thursday at the Canadian Open, where questions over the PGA Tour's stunning deal with LIV Golf's Saudi...
2023-06-09 07:47

Pokimane addresses 'confusion' over her snacks product Myna Cookies: 'We own our formula'
Pokimane faced criticism after people noticed similarities between Myna Snacks' Midnight Mini Cookies and Toatzy's Midnight Mini Cookies
2023-11-17 18:08

Best Pokemon for Greninja Tera Raid
Players should look for Pokémon like Klefki, Gastrodon and Clodsire to take on the Greninja Tera Raid event in Pokémon Scarlet and Violet.
1970-01-01 08:00

Nearly 80% of Italians say they are Catholic. But few regularly go to church
In Italy, centuries-old churches dot the landscape, sanctuaries and processions draw crowds, and nearly 80% of the population profess themselves Catholic
2023-10-05 12:09

Paige Spiranac praises young golfer practicing hard to qualify for US Women's Open
9-year-old Bella Simoes is attempting to qualify for the US Women's Open in Naples, Florida
1970-01-01 08:00

I present my children on Instagram like they live in a fairytale – could it damage them?
Freshly cut roses. Sumptuous Marie Antoinette-style birthday cakes. Vintage Liberty dresses in Strawberry Thief fabric. Shetland ponies. These are some of the ingredients of my Instagram posts featuring my kids. I wouldn’t call myself a “sharent” by any means – someone who overshares their children’s intimate lives on social media in one long, parental “humblebrag”. But whenever I do post, it is picture-perfect. My kids look like they’ve walked straight out of a fairytale. But is it naff? Like tablescaping your kids? A form of digital narcissism? Is it, in its own unique way, a parental kind of “thirst trap”? To an extent, I’m luring others into a fantasy that doesn’t exist. I like to project a wonderfully idyllic life as a single mum... when quite frankly, it isn’t. It’s like when people try to woo their ex-partners back by posting shots of themselves half-naked and having the best time of their lives, despite crying into their pillow heartbroken all day and night. Some mums are professionals at posting perfect dreamy shots of their kids. Look no further than Carrie Johnson, Tamara Ecclestone, Stacey Solomon, and Kate and Rio Ferdinand. For celebrities and influencers, a picture-perfect ideal is the norm on social media – there are lots of cream interiors and matching Christmas jumpers. They might be promoting a homeware brand, or tagging a pram they got for free. Even when it’s tastefully done, like the former PM’s wife’s Instagram, it always gives the impression that motherhood is wondrous. That life is one big, happy Timotei advert. Even when celebrities try to be more candid, it doesn’t work. Mum-of-two Millie Mackintosh, formerly of Made in Chelsea, recently posted a “toddler tornado dump” on her Instagram. “I feel like it’s so easy to always share the nice, polished, life,” she wrote. “Well, today, I’m here to break that pattern.” The glimpse “into the delightful chaos” of Mackintosh’s maternal life included photos of a toothbrush and toothpaste on a bathroom basin, a bedroom littered with hair bows, and a make-up drawer with a few brown concealer stains on it. Really? Is that as bad as motherhood gets? For me, it’s simply more interesting to post magical rather than mundane shots. But why on earth do I want to present my kids as if they’re living in one long, tasteful pastel-coloured dream, where everything looks enchanting? No messy hair. No sleep deprivation. No kids bored out of their minds. I don’t require a filter, either – I’m already looking at life through rose-tinted spectacles, and expecting everyone else to do the same. But am I totally deluded? And, more than anything, could it be damaging to my children? Dr Charlotte Armitage, who is currently the duty-of-care psychologist on ITV’s Big Brother, has big concerns. “First of all, it’s impacting the relationship between the parent and a child because the relationship is contingent on the creation of these images and the number of likes that follow,” she says, adding that when you are “truly happy” with your situation, “you don’t tend to post perfect images”. It’s more important to ask ourselves the question of why we feel the need to present this kind of picture-perfect image of ourselves to the world. Is it because, in reality, we are discontented with our lives? Dr Charlotte Armitage, psychologist As parents, she continues, we are modelling behaviours to our children. “They learn by imitation – if mum is taking photos and seeking validation from likes, the child starts to become validated by these likes themselves and will develop an external focus of control; they will learn that validation comes from what others think of them. This is unhealthy because, throughout life, a child’s self-esteem and self-worth become based on what others think about them rather than how they feel about themselves.” The key, she says, is realising we shouldn’t use social media to fulfil our self-worth. “It’s more important to ask ourselves the question of why we feel the need to present this kind of picture-perfect image of ourselves to the world,” she says. “Is it because, in reality, we are discontented with our lives?” According to research, the average child today has had their image put on social media 1,300 times before the age of 13 – I can see this trajectory for my kids unless I put on the brakes. There are already widespread concerns over the data. In France, an anti-sharing bill continues to be discussed in the country’s senate, and parents could potentially be banned from sharing photos of their children on social media. It could also become mandatory for influencers to admit if a photo or video they posted was retouched or filtered. There is controversy over whether pictures of kids should even be posted online at all, as many are too young to even give permission. How will they feel about the spread of their image in the future? What happens if their identity is stolen – or worse, used by paedophiles? Does it promote a distorted reality of motherhood, compared with which other “normal” mums feel inadequate? And can it backfire on the parents when children’s rights in the digital era are not honoured? “Children tend to be frustrated or critical of the way their parents share images of them,” says Professor Sonia Livingstone, from the department of media and communications at the London School of Economics and Political Science. “Not because they are made to seem ‘perfect’ but because they can be embarrassed, even shamed, in the eyes of their peers. Meanwhile, parents feel hugely under pressure in many ways, both to be perfect parents and also because such images leave parents competing with each other and isolated in their own seemingly inadequate lives.” Dr Cosmo Duff Gordon is the founder of leading addictions clinic Start2Stop, and a psychologist in private practice at Chelsea Recovery Associates. He says that in his 20-year career as a psychologist, he’s “never had a parent sit in front of him and say ‘I’m addicted to Instagram,’” but that’s not because social media addiction doesn’t exist. He puts it largely down to “denial” – “not least since the use of social media can involve so many of the processes that usually characterise classic alcohol or drug addiction”. Denial being the number one culprit. “Obvious ones might be obsession, compulsion, capture of attentional focus and loss of control,” he says. “More subtly, social media use can involve the same sort of self-medication, or escape from reality, that addiction offers – and being a parent is hard. That’s why drifting into a fantasy land can be a relief from the daily grind of motherhood.” Parenting expert Hannah Keeley – aka “America’s #1 Mom Coach” – is more upbeat about mums posting potentially inauthentic photos of their kids. “The hardest truth to accept is that there are some mums who are actually professionalising motherhood to this level,” she says. “Not that they have achieved perfection, but they take pride in their performance as mums and use social media as a way to confirm that to themselves and boost their confidence to encourage their efforts. Should these mums also be obligated to ensure that all mums feel good about themselves, whether or not they have invested in their career to this level? Mums don’t have to be responsible for other mums’ perceptions.” After great debate and reflection, I’ve decided I’m happy with my Insta posts. They might be driven by my background, where my sister and I ran around in white nightdresses as if we had starring roles in Picnic at Hanging Rock. Or because I was conditioned to believe that how we look – even how thin we were – equalled self-worth. I’m not setting myself up to be a supermum. I don’t look at how many likes I get. It’s true that us mums also need to share our parenting experiences honestly, to let other mums know they are not alone. But for now, I’m not doing a U-turn – I’m just living the fairytale dream. Read More My daughter’s horsey hobby makes her happy, but our home now hums If poachers make the best gamekeepers, do siblings make the best babysitters? Mother’s song about how easy it is to be ‘such a good dad’ goes viral Will an adaptogen a day keep the doctor away this winter? Naomi Watts admits mid-thirties menopause felt like ‘the end of my worth’ Smoking causes 150 cancer cases every single day in UK, study finds
2023-11-20 14:30

Behind Indonesia’s 5% Growth Lies a Less Rosy Economic Picture
Indonesia’s growth performance last quarter is poised to top most of its peers in Southeast Asia, but its
2023-08-14 08:36
You Might Like...

Review: 'Heavens' profiles figures in modern space race

Here's why Logan Paul winning the US championship at Crown Jewel could be a masterstroke by WWE

Evangelos Marinakis wants Nottingham Forest to be ‘a dominant force’ once again

How to Trade in Pokémon Scarlet and Violet

Cyclone Shuts Key Oil And Container Ports as Storm Nears India

Meet Jesse Watters, the Fox News host helming Tucker Carlson’s primetime slot

Phoebe Philo unveils hotly-anticipated first collection of her own

Mikel Arteta: Saudi Pro League transfer window closing date not fair