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Coming out can be hard at any age, but by the time you’re well into adulthood it may feel terrifying, and be completely life-changing. Many people who come out in their thirties and onwards may have wanted to for a long time but not felt safe enough to do so. As October 11 marks National Coming Out Day, it’s important to reflect on how, if and when people can share their authentic selves. “I wasn’t raised in a time when it felt safe to express attraction to women,” says author and creative mentor Fiona Fletcher Reid, who came out last year at the age of 35. “I wasn’t sure about my sexuality until I had psychosexual therapy and was able to explore all the layers of internalised homophobia and repression that I had accumulated over my 35 years,” she says. So, how you can support someone who is going through it? Don’t assume everyone is the same Not every person’s coming out looks the same, and some LGBTQ+ experiences are not universal. “Coming out is a personal experience and because it is often physically and emotionally dangerous to be openly queer, lots of people never feel able to be open,” says Fletcher Reid, now 36. “Some people might feel free to come out once they have ended a particular relationship, or after meeting people who they feel safe around. “For others, like me, it’s that we don’t consciously acknowledge our sexuality until we are a lot older and have the confidence to work through the emotional implications and real-life consequences that come with that,” The writer, from Glasgow, was going through a divorce at the time with a man she’d been with since the age of 17. “During therapy, I talked a lot about the pain I was experiencing during intercourse as well as my general anxiety around sex. It wasn’t until I’d built up a trusting relationship with my therapist that I felt able to discuss the fact that I thought I might be gay and I did not expect that to come up, so I was just as surprised as everyone else when I came out.” Don’t question their authenticity Validate what the person who has come out is saying. “Don’t say, ‘Are you sure?’ because you can rest assured that the person coming out to you has thought long and hard about this,” says Fletcher Reid. “Casting self-doubt on someone when they have opened up a vulnerable part of themselves to you is hurtful.” Don’t question them about their sex life It’s no one else’s business. “Please don’t ask about whether they have been intimate with anyone, or any other sort of suggestion that they need to ‘prove’ their sexuality to you,” she stresses. Consider what they feel and accept that it is a big deal They are probably feeling “a mix of emotions, including excited, happy, empowered and scared for their safety”, says Fletcher Reid. “Sadly coming out can still cause huge ruptures in relationships so be aware that this is a huge moment for them and comes with real consequences. “Dismissing their experience as ‘not a big deal’ because you think it’s ‘normal to be gay’ now is a dangerous and false narrative.” It may sound simple, but just listening and supporting them is vital. “Be there to listen and try to celebrate all the new things that they are exploring as they come out, whether that’s dating, meeting new people or finding ways to experiment with their identity through fashion,” says Fletcher Reid. “Repeat often that you love and care for them and that you accept this evolution of them, that you are happy to see them happy.” Suggest they find community “Encourage them to talk to other people who have been through similar experiences if you can,” she says. “As much as friends and family want to understand what they are going through, it is far more validating to talk to someone else who has come out later in life and understands the emotional intricacies of the experience. “They can also hopefully show them that there are good times ahead.” Thank them for sharing with you “It is a privilege that someone trusts you with coming out, especially later in life. Tell them that you are honoured to have been trusted with this information, and reassure them that you will keep it private until they are ready to tell other people,” Fletcher Reid suggests. “The best reactions that I had from people were seeing their joy that I had discovered this important part of myself, and that had a huge impact on my ability to feel hopeful amidst the pain caused by my divorce. “Allowing them to feel conflicted and guilty and offering reassurance that they have the right to be themselves will make them feel so much happier.” Read More Israel-Hamas conflict: How to talk to teenagers about distressing news stories Autumn décor ideas for a seasonal refresh Why you shouldn’t tidy your garden too much in autumn World Mental Health Day: 5 ways to beat anxiety and change your life Alternative veg to grow for next season How to spot if your child is struggling with their mental health – and what to do next

By Paul Sandle LONDON (Reuters) -The president of Microsoft said he was looking for solutions to try to get British

PISCATAWAY, N.J.--(BUSINESS WIRE)--Aug 15, 2023--

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Boxing matches tend to be organised as one of three types: professional, amateur or exhibition. But what is the difference between them? Generally speaking, most ‘major’ fights – including title fights – are professional bouts, while exhibition contests are those staged with more of a focus on the audience and entertainment. Most professional fighters have an amateur career before turning pro, and Olympic fights count as amateur bouts. For example, Anthony Joshua’s Olympic gold-medal win in 2012 was part of his amateur career. Meanwhile, his heavyweight title fights with Oleksandr Usyk in 2021 and 2022 were professional bouts. Elsewhere, Floyd Mayweather’s recent matches against YouTubers Logan Paul and Deji were exhibitions. All fights – professional, amateur and exhibition – must be licensed by a commission (e.g. fights in Las Vegas are regulated by the Nevada State Athletic Commission), but exhibition bouts do not need to be sanctioned by a governing body. In contrast, the World Boxing Council (WBC) sanctioned Tyson Fury’s three fights with Deontay Wilder, as the WBC heavyweight title was on the line. Professional fights do not need to be title bouts, but they tend to have an effect on the rankings in the weight class in which they take place, as seeded by the governing body sanctioning the fight. I.e. Andy Ruiz Jr is the World Boxing Organization (WBO)’s No 1-ranked fighter below its champions, while Wilder is ranked sixth. If Wilder were to fight and beat Ruiz Jr, Wilder would likely overtake the Mexican-American in the rankings. Furthermore, rules are more flexible in exhibition fights. For example, a world title fight in men’s boxing – a professional bout – will always be scheduled for 12 three-minute rounds; and a women’s world title fight will always be scheduled for 12 two-minute rounds. In contrast, an exhibition fight could be set as six three-minute rounds, or eight two-minute rounds (these are random examples). Fights can of course end earlier if there is a knockout/TKO (technical knockout, where the referee or a ringside doctor halts the action, or a towel is thrown in), but such results are less frequent in exhibition bouts, where wins and losses do not count towards a fighter’s record – and there is often no winner declared at all. For example, former multi-weight world champion Mayweather retired unbeaten in 2017 with a professional record of 50-0, and he has since fought in five exhibitions. While the 46-year-old has been somewhat aggressive in beating three of his exhibition opponents via TKO, two of his exhibition fights lasted the full number of rounds and no winner was declared. Sometimes, however, fights that one would expect to be exhibition bouts are in fact professional contests. For example, YouTuber-turned-boxer Jake Paul has boxed six times professionally, taking on former mixed martial arts champions Anderson Silva, Tyron Woodley (twice) and Ben Askren, as well as ex-NBA star Nate Robinson and YouTuber AnEsonGib. Readers might expect such fights to be exhibitions, but they have in fact been organised as professional bouts, meaning Paul has a 6-0 record (4 KOs). Read More Who is KSI fighting after beating Joe Fournier? KSI knocks out Joe Fournier with controversial elbow KSI, from ‘endearing’ class clown to YouTuber who has changed the face of boxing

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