A mother has been praised after she revealed how she ‘ruined’ a child’s birthday because her daughter wasn’t invited.
In a post to Reddit's "Am I the A**hole?" forum, the mum provided the backstory as to what happened that caused the drama to unfold.
She began by detailing how her nine-year-old daughter goes to a small school with 11 girls in her grade which is "tight-knit" and "we all get along."
The girls have started up a book club and we would meet up twice per month at each other's homes.
"My daughter was in it last summer but we had to stop when the school year began. She’s a competitive dancer which requires a lot of time," the mum explained.
But also later clarified that her daughter "does still attend book club once per month to once every other month," she's just not a full-time member.
The problem first occurred three weeks ago when a classmate discussed an upcoming party - one to which the daughter hadn't been invited.
"We had a girl in her class over named Sarah. Sarah asked my daughter if she was excited to attend Addy’s, another girl in the class, birthday party.
"She said it was a swimming party and they’d be playing a movie on an outdoor screen. My daughter hadn’t received an invite.
"When Sarah’s mom came Sarah told her how we hadn’t received an invite for Addy’s birthday," to which Sarah's mother said that "Addy had handed them out at the last book club and had probably just forgot to reach out."
So that's exactly what she did.
"I texted Addy’s mom and reminded her my daughter hadn’t been at the last book club and if she was also supposed to receive an invite.
"She responded that they had hired someone to do a spa for the girls during the party and the service had a limit of 10 so they decided to only do the girls in book club. She didn’t expect us to find out."
The mum responded saying that she "understood but felt it was wrong to not include just one."
"I told my daughter we can’t expect to be invited every time and this was just a life lesson," she added.
When Sarah's mum asked if the situation had been sorted, the mum sent a screenshot of the text conversation she had with Addy's mum.
A few days later, Sarah's mom told her that she would not be taking Sarah to the party - " She felt it was wrong to not include just one child and she could see if our kids didn’t get along or had drama but that wasn’t the case. They hired someone knowing just one girl would be left out and she didn’t agree with it."
But it wasn't just Sarah's mom who decided not to take their child to the party.
"I get a text from Addy’s mom a week later that a total of 4 girls were not attending," the mum wrote.
"She felt I had ruined her daughter's party and was creating drama. I explained that I had no intentions of ruining her party and had only spoken to one other mom about it."
The poster's own mum told her she "should not have texted Addy’s mom and if they had wanted us we would have been invited."
To conclude, the mum summed her her side of things.
"The only mom I talked to about it was Sarah’s which I assume is who told others. I never meant to cause others to not attend or ruin a child’s party.
"When I reached out I really felt like it must have been a mistake since she was the only one. Now I’m unsure if I was just a jerk who now cause unnecessary drama in a small group and possibly ruined a child’s party.
"Was I the AH?" she asked.
Since sharing the dilemma, there have been plenty of comments from people who shared their thoughts on what happened - with many siding with the mum, believing she was not the a**hole in this situation.
One person said: "NTA. Not unreasonable to think in a group that small everyone would have received an invitation. But some food for thought… Not invited? Don’t go. Not told? Don’t ask. Late invite? Decline, you were never a part of the plan."
"NTA. Addy's mom knows there are 11 girls in the class and decided to go for the activity limited by not including one girl in. That's where the drama is caused," another person wrote.
"Of course your daughter would have found out - or if not, this would have caused the other girls to isolate her in general by keeping secrets from her."
Someone else added: "NTA - you don't exclude one kid from a party, it's unnecessarily cruel. Have only 6 sure, 10 of 11, no, and they shouldn't be surprised it's had consequences."
"NTA. It's completely normal to want your kids not to be left alone or rejected," a fourth person commented.
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