This Self-Love Oil Can Lift Your Libido, According To A Sexologist

As I swim through the waves of International Masturbation Month, I’ve had to face a harsh reality: My sex drive just isn’t there. There are so many factors that can cause a reduced libido — stress, depression, hormone fluctuations, new medications, fatigue, etc. And it can be a self-fulfilling prophecy to try to masturbate (and relieve some of that fatigue, stress, and depression) only to be unable to get aroused. The result can be more stress, exhaustion, and anxiety. Willing to try anything and everything to restore my libido, I found Bloomi. The Latina-owned sexual wellness brand is led by co-founder Rebecca Alvarez Story, a nationally respected sexologist that’s helping Bloomi customers de-stigmatize their own pleasure and get to know their own bodies via a wide range of pleasure products.

Among the customer-approved line, I discovered Bloomi’s Sensual Pleasure Oil, Desire, which reviewers claim “made me feel like myself again” and “does all it promises times 10.” With such effusive reviews, I knew I needed to try it out for myself and see if my fledgling libido could be, at the very least, improved.

Bloomi Desire Sensual Pleasure Oil, $20

Desire is a botanic-formulated oil, which currently has a 4.9-out-of-5-star rating on Bloomi. Made up of a unique blend of plant-based ingredients that are gentle and effective, this arousal oil has pleased its fans with its vegan, all-natural formula that’s gentle on even the most sensitive skin. That’s because its primary ingredient is something you can find in most vegans’ pantries: coconut oil. Though this means it’s not safe to use with latex condoms (only water-based formulas are!), it does have the added benefit of moisturizing your intimate skin with each use. Meanwhile, a mix of cinnamon and nutmeg helps boost blood flow. Just like cinnamon can cause a warm tingle on your tongue, it can give your vulva a pleasantly warm rush. Its final active ingredient is damiana, an ancient aphrodisiac from Central America, that may help with sexual dysfunction and anxiety, making it a perfect combination to help get your motor running.

I have PCOS and I’m currently in fertility treatments. These things cause me to have no libido. For years I have felt like I’ve lost myself and I will never be able to feel the same way before all these struggles. I feel so lucky to have found this product… It has changed my intimate life with my husband for the better. I feel like myself again.

Unlike traditional lubricants, the pleasure oil, which can be used on both vulvas and penises should only be used externally, but that’s part of the oil’s instructions. Bloomi’s sexologist recommends using the oil to help enhance arousal before penetration. In fact, according to their research, most vulva owners require about 20 minutes of foreplay before becoming aroused (this also applies to masturbation, so don’t think you can skimp out even when you’re going solo!). When rubbed into the vulva, the oil can increase blood flow and make your skin more sensitive to increase your own natural arousal.

As someone whose own libido has been in the dumps recently, I found this info particularly helpful. With the recommended two to four pumps of the oil, I rubbed it in for about five minutes before I started to feel a slippery warmth, followed by something that had evaded me time and time again: my own arousal.

Does all it says times 10.

Though it’s definitely true that by rubbing yourself for a solid 10 minutes, you’re sure to feel some kind of arousal, oil or not. I found that taking the time to alleviate myself of any pressure and just enjoy the sensations as they came was an extremely helpful experience. By eliminating the pressure of feeling good, it turns out, I was more easily able to feel good. Plus, I was also extremely calmed by the spicy cinnamon-nutmeg scent, which threw me back to a cozy fall day and relaxed my overactive brain.

Story also recommends trying to play with the positions you masturbate in, explaining that each one has its own benefit. I took her advice and tried masturbating on my stomach for the first time in a while. I found this position extremely helpful for easy clitoral stimulation, more like a grinding, and the new position also helped me get out of my head and focus on the bodily sensations caused by the oil, which ultimately led to an extremely satisfying orgasm. Sexologists, they really do have the best tips.

How have I lived so long without this product? An absolute intimacy game changer.

Though I decided to just use my fingers to coax my arousal from its hibernation, Bloomi also has a highly praised line of vibrators that can help if you need something motorized to get you to your finish line. Browse all the products below, and see if Story’s tips help you regain your libido, too.

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