NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK: ‘Today with Hoda and Jenna’ host Hoda Kotb and Jenna Bush Hager recently offered valuable advice on addressing the "silent killers" that can strain relationships when communication breaks down.
The ‘Today’ duo drew inspiration from a candid conversation with country music duo Dan + Shay, where Dan Smyers and Shay Mooney opened up about a challenging period in 2021 when they almost parted ways as a band. Hoda and Jenna also reflected on their personal experiences and shared them with the audience.
Who is Dan Smyers and Shay Mooney?
Dan Smyers and Shay Mooney are the members of the American country music duo Dan + Shay. Dan Smyers was born on August 16, 1987, in Wexford, Pennsylvania, and Shay Mooney was born on December 27, 1991, in Natural Dam, Arkansas. They came together in Nashville, Tennessee, and gained prominence with their debut single ‘19 You + Me’ in 2013. Since then, they have achieved significant success in the country music industry, releasing hit songs like ‘Tequila’, ‘Speechless’, and ‘10,000 Hours’ (a collaboration with Justin Bieber). Dan + Shay have won multiple awards, including Grammy Awards and Academy of Country Music Awards.
Jenna Bush Hager and Hota Kotb on ‘silent killers’
On Wednesday, July 12 ‘Today’ broadcast, Hoda and Jenna brought up a candid conversation from a YouTube video of Dan Smyers and Shay Mooney. Hoda began the conversation saying, “Those kinds of meaningful conversations almost never happen”. Shay Mooney revealed in a YouTube video that the accumulation of unspoken "little things" had a detrimental impact on both the band and his marriage, leading him to a dark place. Jenna used one of his statements, “When one said, 'There were a lot of things that we weren't talking about,' It's like those silent killers. It's when you're not communicating”.
Hoda further emphasized the importance of consistent communication, highlighting the multitude of small interactions and messages exchanged throughout a day. She added, “OK, think about how many times you and (husband) Henry (Hager) text or communicate during the course of a single day”. She continued, “All those little micro, little tiny communications add up at the end”. Reflecting on her own experiences, she acknowledged the gradual erosion caused by neglecting regular communication and missing out on the details of each other's lives.
“I've been in relationships (where) I figured, 'We'll see each other and then we'll catch up’, but there is something about the things you miss during the course of the day”. Hoda continued, “I liked what he said about sometimes a little thing you don't talk about. Then it's another little thing and another, and pretty soon all those little things have become a big thing”. Jenna empathized, likening the unaddressed issues to burying oneself under the weight of unresolved matters. "You're buried," Jenna said.
Smyers stated that the duo "let things fly out the window" instead of facing them directly. The stars revealed in the video that they didn’t spoke for four months before reuniting in March 2022. "The moment when we sat down and just talked it out, I feel like was so healthy. That night changed it all," recalled Smyers. Hoda said, "Should I have the conversation? No, it's not the right time. Not tonight, maybe in the morning. He's tired, she's tired”. But she emphasized the importance of having the conversation, saying, "Have it. You'll feel better. No matter what happens, you'll feel better”. Jenna explained, "I didn't grow up in a yelling household. I wasn't going to disrespect my parents because there were repercussions. It's harder to tell the truth. It's harder to have those conversations. Haven't you had some where you feel shaky?"
"It's such a relief," agreed Jenna, while Hoda added, "Once you do it, you're free." Jenna highlighted the constant communication off-camera, stating, "If there is something that bothered one of us, there's such a safe space to discuss it." "Without question," responded Hoda.
