NEW YORK--(BUSINESS WIRE)--Jun 14, 2023--

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Thanks for reading Can We Talk?, a sex and relationships column that aims to tackle the burning questions about sex, dating, relationships, and breakups that you’re too afraid to ask your partner — or maybe even your besties. Last time, relationship therapist Moraya Seeger DeGeare, LMFT, helped someone who was nervous to ask their partner to explore their open relationship more. Today, we hear from three Refinery29 readers about the questions they were scared to ask their partners (and how it went if they finally got up the courage to inquire).

I’m not sure whether you’ll have tried kulfi before, but it’s a traditional, rich ice cream found across India, that’s usually flavoured with cardamom – and I am obsessed with it,” says former Bake Off contestant Crystelle Pereira. “I once had a mango kulfi in Goa, and it was breathtakingly good. So, this cheesecake is a homage to that kulfi – the rich creaminess coming from the cream cheese, paired with sweet mango and floral notes of cardamom.” Mango and cardamom cheesecake Ingredients: For the base: 30g pistachios 30g desiccated coconut 65g unsalted butter (which will be browned so you should end up with 55g) 25g coconut oil 190g speculoos biscuits For the cheesecake: 10 cardamom pods 200ml double cream, cold 55g icing sugar 1 teaspoon vanilla bean paste 600g cream cheese 2 tablespoons runny honey 185g canned, sweetened mango purée To decorate: 1 fresh mango/1 x 425g (before draining) can of mango 1 tablespoon runny honey Small handful of pistachios Method: 1. First make the base. Place the pistachios and desiccated coconut in a frying Pan over a low heat and toast, stirring, for about 7 minutes until the coconut is golden and nutty. Remove from the heat and set aside. 2. Place the butter in a saucepan over a low heat and stir constantly until you see it bubble up vigorously with a thick, cappuccino-like foam, and then light brown solids will start to form on the bottom. At this point, take the pan off the heat, stirring for about 30 more seconds, then immediately transfer it to another bowl, making sure to scrape out all the solids from the bottom, as these carry so much flavour. Then, stir through the coconut oil until it has melted in the residual heat. 3. Place the speculoos biscuits in a sealed freezer bag and bash with a rolling pin until the mixture resembles fine crumbs. Then, add the coconut and pistachios and bash these again to break down the nuts slightly (you can also use a food processor). Tip all the contents into a large bowl and mix with the brown butter and oil until the mixture resembles wet sand. 4. Press this into the base of a 20cm springform cake tin, and use the base of a mug to flatten it down. Transfer to the fridge to chill and harden while you make the cheesecake filling. 5. Place the cardamom pods in a dry frying pan over a low heat and toast, stirring, for about 10 minutes until fragrant. Transfer to a pestle and mortar and bash to release the seeds from the shells. Discard the shells (I keep mine and add them to my chai), then grind the seeds into a fine powder. You can also grind the whole pods, including the shells, in a spice grinder. 6. In a large bowl, place the double cream, icing sugar, vanilla bean paste and ground cardamom and whisk to fairly stiff peaks. 7. In a separate bowl, combine the cream cheese, runny honey and 150g of the mango purée and whisk well to combine. Then, fold through the whipped cream into this cream cheese mixture in three parts, until no streaks remain. 8. Remove the base from the fridge and pour half the cheesecake mixture over the top. Then, swirl through half the remaining mango purée and use a knife or skewer to swirl this through the mixture. Then repeat with the remaining cheesecake mixture and mango purée and use an offset spatula to level the top. Place in the fridge for 6–8 hours, or ideally overnight, until completely set. 9. To serve, run a palette knife or offset spatula around the rim of the cheesecake and then carefully release the springform tin and slide off the metal base. 10. Thinly slice fresh (or canned) mango, and arrange on top of the cheesecake, drizzle over some honey, and sprinkle with pistachios, then slice and serve. Recipe from ‘Flavour Kitchen: Vibrant Recipes with Creative Twists’ by Crystelle Pereira (Kyle Books, £22). Read More BBQ salad recipes without a soggy lettuce leaf in sight Grace Dent’s quick and easy recipes that only require the microwave How to shop for and cook Japanese food at home like a pro Crystelle Pereira: ‘This is controversial but... French food isn’t that great’ Roasted grape, honey and feta crostinis are perfect dinner party canapes Forest Side, review: Cumbrian produce elevated to Michelin-starred proportions

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Heatwaves can be uncomfortable at the best of times, but what if you’re already having hot flushes? Dr Naomi Potter, founder of Menopause Care and co-author of bestselling book, Menopausing, with Davina McCall, points out that eight in 10 people who go through menopause experience symptoms like hot flushes – a sudden surge of heat, often accompanied by redness and sweating. Night sweats and trouble sleeping are also common during perimenopause and menopause – not the sort of things you want to be dealing with when a heatwave hits. “The increasing temperatures can make hot flushes and night sweats worse, and make it harder to cool down when you do experience them,” says Potter, explaining that the lack of oestrogen associated with menopause affects the part of the brain that helps regulate body temperature. “If you’re already hot and sweaty, then having a night sweat or hot flush can just make everything worse and uncomfortable.” Here’s her advice for getting through the summer heatwaves… Travelling “Public transport can be awful at the best of times in the heat, especially when travelling on tubes, trains and buses where you’re cramped in, so if you experience a hot flush while travelling, it can be extremely unpleasant,” Potter says. “Try carrying water and a small fan, to give some comfort in these moments, if just for a short relief.” If you can, invest in a water bottle designed to keep liquids cold, so you’ll always have something cool to sip when you need to. Be drink savvy Speaking of drinks, Potter also suggests trying to limit alcohol, coffee and sugary beverages, especially if menopause symptoms are proving troublesome. Iced tea and water are ideal options. “During the summer, you’re more likely to be dehydrated, and alcohol, coffee and fizzy drinks worsen dehydration,” she explains. “So it’s worth bearing that in mind and staying hydrated with water.” Sleep Menopause might already be impacting your mood and energy levels, so sleepless nights can be a double whammy. “In the case of night sweats, you’ll often experience broken and interrupted sleep, which has a knock-on effect and impact on lifestyle and work the next day,” says Potter. “Create a cool sleeping environment by wearing light breathable bed clothes and have a spare by the bed in case you wake up sweaty, so you can change without having to properly wake up to find new clothes,” she suggests. Plus, a well-positioned bedroom fan will be your summer best friend. Dress light It goes without saying that clothing also affects temperature – so if hot flushes are bothering you, tweaking your wardrobe could certainly help. Potter suggests dressing in “lightweight, breathable fabrics” such as cotton or linen. Plus, a light pair of cycling shorts/long knickers under skirts and dresses can help massively with sweating and discomfort at this time of year. Get the right support Heatwave or no heatwave, menopause doesn’t have to mean suffering in silence and just soldiering on if symptoms are impacting you. “If somebody is having symptoms, then it is definitely worth seeing their GP because there’s lots that can be done,” says Potter. “And if you have a menopause-friendly workplace, it is definitely worth talking to [managers] because with recently headlines, many workplaces are much more supportive of the menopause. “I think it’s vital that conversations like this continue,” Potter adds. “Without speaking about experiences, then there is no way for people to realise that this is a normal life event, and there is help if it is required.” Storing HRT in the heat Finally, if you are taking hormone-replacement therapy (HRT), make sure it’s being stored correctly when temperatures soar. “Most HRT should be stored at room temperature. If this is the case with yours (it will say on the side of the packaging), do not refrigerate or freeze it. Instead, storing it in a cool dark place, away from direct light, should be fine,” says Potter. You will want to keep it away from excessive temperatures though – basically anywhere that can get particularly hot when it’s sunny, such as inside cars, on window ledges. “And aircraft holds,” Potter adds, “where temperatures are unknown and can rise rapidly.”

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