List of All Articles with Tag 'list'

No matter the time or the situation we could all do with a good laugh and the simplest of dad jokes always do the trick. Even social media agrees that dad jokes are funny with a current trend on Twitter revolving around the timeless format of the 'what do you call' gags. Sign up to our free Indy100 weekly newsletter Don't believe us? Well here are XX 'what do you call jokes' that you can test on your friends next time you are in the pub or reserve until Christmas dinner when the ones in your cracker inevitably let you down. 1. What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut? A barbercue. 2. What do you call a frozen kid? Chill-dren 3. What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time 4. What do you call a man who cannot stand? Neal 5. What do you call a reluctant potato? A hesitater. 6. What do you call a Magician who's lost his magic? Ian. 7. What do you call a dinosaur fart? A blast from the past! 8. What do you call a duck that steals? A Robber Duck. 9. What do you call a fish without eyes? A fsh 10. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. 11. What do you call a dog with a fever? A hot dog. 12. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta. 13. What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated. 14. What do you call a sad coffee? A despresso. 15. What do you call a Mexican man who lost his car? Carlos. 16. What do you call an angry counsellor? A therapissed. 17. What do you call a chicken staring at lettuce? Chicken caes-a salad. 18. What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto. Have your say in our news democracy. Click the upvote icon at the top of the page to help raise this article through the indy100 rankings.

Rheum, cerumen, and mucus are just a few of our gross bodily fluids.

Draymond Green's future with the Golden State Warriors is in doubt, especially with Bob Myers potentially out of the front office. Where else might he end up?The Golden State Warriors were ousted in the second round of the playoffs by the 7-seed Lakers, the perfect capstone to an uneven and...

Ranking the favourites to win the 2023 FIFA Women's World Cup - including the United States, England, Germany and Australia.

Musician Tom Speight was diagnosed with the long-term bowel condition Crohn’s disease 15 years ago. After undergoing emergency surgery for the condition , he had a stoma connected to his digestive system. As today marks World Inflammatory Bowel Diseases Day (IDB), Speight has opened up about the realities of living with a stoma and debunks 10 common misconceptions about his condition. A stoma is an opening on the abdomen that can be connected to either your digestive or urinary system to allow waste to be diverted out of your body. Stomas are sometimes used after surgery to remove cancers in your pelvic area or help treat inflammatory bowel diseases, such as Crohn’s disease or ulcerative colitis. How does Crohn’s impact on your life and mental health? Over the years, [there have been some] really difficult situations to deal with – I was hospitalised last year while I was making my album, and lying in hospital, not knowing if I was going to be well enough to finish what I’d been working so long and so hard for was really really demoralising. For me, stress is a big trigger, so when you’re stressing about keeping up with everything and keeping on top of things it was actually making me worse. There’s a ripple effect to this disease in that your limitations can affect how others [family and friends] live their life,” he said. “I’ve been having regular therapy since 2019 to help manage my stress and improve my mental health. Working out how to manage the condition is unbelievably frustrating. Finding the right team of doctors, the right medication, and the right diet is such a draining process. For me, one of the hardest parts is knowing that despite everything you try, the trial and error process you go through can ultimately put you back in hospital if it’s not quite right. It can be a scary thought. The prospect of having a third operation or a sixth stay in hospital is always there, at the back of my mind. Here are the 10 most common misconceptions about living with a stoma, according to Speight: 1. Swimming is fine Often people believe that having a stoma means you can’t enjoy the same hobbies and activities that you did before you had the operation. Swimming comes to mind first: I think people presume you’ll have a leakage or accident, but in the 10 years I’ve had the stoma. I’ve never once had a problem. The stoma bag is waterproof and secure due to its adhesive. There’s no reason why a person with a stoma can’t swim with confidence. 2. What you can and cannot eat When I first spoke to my stoma nurse, I asked about my dietary requirements and what to avoid... you’d be surprised about what’s on the forbidden list. Some people may be advised to avoid eating very fibrous foods, or foods with tough outer skins such as sweetcorn, popcorn, peas and potato skins, to avoid causing a blockage in the bowel. Often eating out can feel like a game of Russian roulette. I’ve had many episodes where I’ve been caught out and been absolutely floored in the process. 3. Being visible I was 24 when I first had the emergency surgery to have a stoma. At the time, I thought having the operation would mean my career was over... you can’t be a pop star and have a bag, right? In reality, no one actually will know until you tell them. I’ve worn tight-fitting clothes while channelling my best Freddie Mercury moves and it’s never been a problem. I kind of wish I could tell my younger self that things will be ok and it’s not the end. In some ways, it was just the start, because it gave me a whole new lease of life. 4. ‘Only elderly people have stomas’ I originally thought only old people have stomas, and yes, the elderly are more likely to have a stoma, but surgery can be performed on anybody at any age. I’ve met a number of younger people through the charity Crohn’s & Colitis UK who are just like me, and it’s quite comforting to know you’re not alone. 5. Sex Without being too graphic, this isn’t a problem. It’s all about finding the right partner who can make you feel safe and confident. 6. Smell A lot of the misconceptions about having a stoma were things I initially thought too. I thought it would be unhygienic and, quite frankly, not smell so fresh. The reality is, you’ll only ever notice the smell when you go change it in the toilet. In some ways, it would be no different from anyone else using the loo 7. Is this permanent? For some patients, a stoma is permanent. However, for many, an ostomy is performed to allow for the bowel to heal from scarring, inflammation and infection. I personally need to get to a level of health where a reversal could be performed, while also managing to take some time off to heal properly. 8. ‘You can’t exercise’ I think this misconception might be because people might think you’re vulnerable or weak due to the operation. Exercising regularly can have a really positive impact on people with a stoma, as it reduces the risk of a hernia and keeps your body fit. I’ve never felt stronger in my life. 9. Find the nearest toilet I think people often think you’re walking around with poop all day... this isn’t the case! You just have to go to the toilet like everyone else. 10. The reality is... Yes, it’s a life changing operation but with a few mindful changes you can lead a happy and healthy life. Just avoid the popcorn and drink plenty of water. 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Five players who could, and potentially should, have been nominated for the Premier League's Player and Young Player of the Season awards.

As the weather starts to (slowly) warm up, it’s time to rethink your beauty routine. When temperatures change and the sun shines a bit more consistently, the same products you used in winter won’t be quite as effective. Your hair and skin will have different needs – and these are the changes you should make to accommodate this… 1. Wear broad-spectrum SPF You should be doing this all year round, but slapping on the SPF becomes even more crucial as the weather warms up and we see what Dr Carlos Charles, 4.5.6 Skin chief medical officer and co-founder, describes as “increased daily ambient outdoor ultraviolet light”. He recommends adding sun protection into your routine as early as spring – even if it doesn’t feel that warm. “In my patients with a more fair complexion I’ll start to see mild sunburns and an uptick in sun spots known as solar lentigines in the early spring months,” Charles says. “In patients with darker melanin-rich skin tones I’ll begin to see exacerbations of the pigmentary disorder known as melasma, as well as more intense examples of various types of hyperpigmentation.” Charles – who has spent most of his career treating melanin-rich skin – adds: “The best way to mitigate the hyperpigmentation is through the strict daily use of a broad spectrum sunscreen that is at least SPF 30.” Skin Proud Serious Shade SPF 50+ Sunscreen, £16.95 2. Combat increased oil production “In the warmer weather when temperatures and humidity rise, our sebaceous glands tend to overproduce sebum to keep skin hydrated,” explains Charles. “Even those who have normal skin may find their complexion becomes more oily or greasy. This is true across skin tones, but particularly for those with darker skin.” However, oilier skin doesn’t mean you should start triple-cleansing. “One of the most common mistakes I see patients make when their skin gets oily is over-cleansing to remove the excess oil. Unfortunately, this creates the opposite effect, as it can send the sebaceous glands into overdrive, producing more sebum,” says Charles. Instead, he recommends using “gentle and non-stripping” cleansers and adopting ingredients that will combat the increased oil production, such as salicylic acid. 4.5.6 Skin Green Bae Clearing Gel Cleanser, £28 3. Boost the moisture in your skin Charles continues: “Another mistake I see patients make when their skin gets oily is skipping their moisturiser – or worse SPF – for fear of looking shinier. “It’s always important to keep skin well-nourished and hydrated so that sebaceous glands don’t overcompensate.” Equally, Dr Preema Vig at Dr Preema London recommends using products with ingredients that will boost your skin’s moisture, including hyaluronic acid, ceramides, glycerin and squalane. Croma Skincare Hyaluronic Acid Face Mask, £48 4. Give your scalp some love Skincare doesn’t stop at your face. “In the summer months, our scalp can often be neglected and suffer – whether that be from sun exposure and sweating to tying the hair in restrictive, high-stress ponytails due to the heat,” says Munir Somji at DrMedispa. “These hairstyles, alongside heat damage from the sun, can cause hair to lose volume and break easily.” That’s why it’s important to give your scalp some love during the warmer months – by wearing looser ponytails, using targeted treatments or even giving yourself a scalp massage. 5. Don’t forget your eye area“Skin can become red and inflamed during the summer months, caused by blockage and inflammation of your sweat ducts,” says aesthetic oculoplastic surgeon Sabrina Shah-Desai. “Don’t forget to treat your eye area. When it comes to the delicate eye area, think about investing in some slightly larger sunglasses for extra protection, alongside a product to treat any pigmentation and protect.” Caudalie Vinoperfect Brightening Eye Cream, £30, Look Fantastic 6. Protect your hair, too It’s not just your skin that needs SPF – your hair could benefit from it too when the sun starts shining. “Warmer weather can cause your hair to become dry, frizzy and more prone to breakage due to increased exposure to UV rays, humidity and sweat,” says GHD UK ambassador and celebrity hair stylist Samantha Cusick. “The sun’s ultraviolet (UV) radiation can damage the proteins in your hair, which can lead to dryness, brittleness, and breakage. Additionally, sun exposure can also cause your hair colour to fade and lose its vibrancy.” The key to protecting your hair from the sun’s rays? Cusick recommends “wearing a hat or using a hair product that contains SPF”. Coola Scalp & Hair Mist Sunscreen SPF 30, £29, Feel Unique 7. Battle the frizz “Humidity can cause hair to absorb moisture from the air, which can lead to swelling and frizz. This is because hair is made up of keratin proteins, which can change shape when exposed to water. Additionally, the moisture can disrupt the hydrogen bonds in hair, leading to frizz,” Cusick explains. To beat the frizz, opt for anti-frizz products and always use heat protectant – and Cusick recommends using a tool such as the GHD styler that goes up to 185 degrees: “The optimum temperature to style hair,” she says. Kerasilk Liquid Cuticle Filler, £24, available in selected salons GHD Platinum+ Hair Straightener in Sun-Kissed Taupe, £239 Read More Charity boss speaks out over ‘traumatic’ encounter with royal aide Ukraine war’s heaviest fight rages in east - follow live Paparazzo says Harry and Meghan car chase was ‘catastrophic experience’ Miley Cyrus: As an adult I now realise how harshly I was judged as a child Common foot problems faced by runners – and how to solve them

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We debunk one myth about each state in the U.S., from the Rocky Mountain not-so-high of Colorado to New Mexico. That’s right, New Mexico.

Memorial Day arose from the tragedy of the Civil War. It's a time to remember the people who sacrificed their lives for their country.

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Summer is on its way. And with it comes kids clamoring for activities, the thirst