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Every so often, when I’m in the grips of extreme procrastination, I scroll back through the old photo albums on my near-dormant Facebook account. Their titles are a mix of forgotten teenage in-jokes and once-beloved song lyrics (no doubt a hangover from the Myspace era, before Zuckerberg). The pictures, captured on the digital camera that accompanied me on every night out, look a little fuzzy now, compared to the ultra-high resolution of an iPhone. But they’re still sharp enough that you can make out all the hallmarks of Noughties fashion in every group shot. There are battered pairs of ballet flats. String upon string of fake pearls. Slouchy off-brand Ugg boots. Hi-shine, high-waisted disco pants, reflecting back the flash of my Canon. More waistbelts than the average episode of Gok’s Fashion Fix. I can practically smell the frazzled scent of burning hair, straightened to a crisp. All very nostalgic, all very cringe, all now thankfully relegated to the big Topshop in the sky. Or so I’d naively thought. Fashion’s relentless trend cycle comes for us all in the end and this year, it seems, the nostalgia pendulum has come to rest somewhere around 2007. Bella Hadid and Emily Ratajkowski have been papped strolling through New York City in beige Uggs. A waistcoat is acceptable – even chic on a night out – no longer the sole sartorial preserve of Steve Arnott from Line of Duty. Its more practical cousin, the gilet, is also back, ready and waiting to keep your torso warm and your arms cold. Kylie Jenner is wearing disco pants, paired with going-out tops of indeterminate length. Most triggering of all? The discovery that beloved Scandi brand Ganni is now selling a high-fashion version of the sole-destroying ballet flats that teenage me wore until they fell apart (typically after about two months of continuous use). It was inevitable that the trends of my adolescence would get re-tooled for a new generation somewhere down the line – that’s just how fashion works. But I certainly wasn’t expecting it to happen quite so quickly, or to induce such a stomach-flipping sense of vertigo. It’s only been exacerbated by a clutch of that era’s cultural figures re-entering the public consciousness. Pete(r) Doherty, once the poet laureate of try-hard indie teens, is cropping up everywhere (“ARE YOU WATCHING PETE AND LOUIS THEROUX????” my lifelong best friend urgently WhatsApped me the other night, reminding me of my teenage Libertines obsession). Waistbelt-wearing, bodycon-loving pop legends Girls Aloud may or may not be reuniting (please make it so!) and, erm, Call-Me-Dave Cameron is making a return to frontline politics. It’s enough to make you feel like a portal to the past has somehow opened up, Doctor Who-style (naturally David Tennant, who played the Doctor in the latter half of the Noughties, is reprising that role later this year). Noughties fashion is having a moment on screen, too. Emerald Fennell’s new film Saltburn stars Barry Keoghan as Oliver, a working-class student at Oxford who is befriended by the aristocratic Felix, played by Jacob Elordi; Felix later invites his new pal to spend the summer at his family pile. It takes place between 2006 and 2007, and these fictional freshers dress in authentic period finery: the three “Js” – Jane Norman, Juicy Couture and Jack Wills – superfluous beaded necklaces and daffodil yellow LiveStrong charity wristbands. The latter, of course, were a rubbery tribute to now-disgraced cyclist Lance Armstrong, which, for some unfathomable reason, became a must-have. When they sold out online, we’d go to bizarre lengths to source one. I distinctly remember sending an envelope covered in first class stamps to a friend of a friend of a friend, then receiving a rubbery bracelet in the post about a month later. I had only a vague idea of exactly who Armstrong was, really, but I liked the pop of colour against my white “Make Poverty History” band. To nail this very specific period look, Saltburn costume designer Sophie Canale made “mood boards mainly of my friends drunk on Facebook as inspiration”, she recently told Women’s Wear Daily. She sounds like a woman after my own heart. And just like my friends and I, Fennell’s characters love a good pair of Uggs – or at least, Ugg-adjacent copycats. So devoted was I to my tan knock-off versions that 16-year-old me carried on wearing them almost immediately after undergoing a knee arthroscopy (fake Uggs and crutches – a real fashion statement). My physiotherapist was horrified – and for good reason. In 2010, the British College of Osteopathic Medicine put out a statement imploring teenage girls like me to ditch their poorly-made imitation boots, warning that the lack of foot support could eventually lead to wear and tear on the ankles, knees and hips. “Just because something becomes a trend or fashionable doesn’t mean it’s good or right,” the organisation’s then-head Dr Ian Drysdale warned. Wise words indeed – but if I’d heard them at the time, I’d probably have rolled my eyes and gone back to trying to find the perfect footless tights to pair with my fleecy shoes. Ballet flats, with their similar absence of support, were pretty terrible for your podiatric health too, but it was a sacrifice we were willing to make in order to look a bit like Kate Moss. Looking good could be painful: after attending one friend’s 16th-birthday meal, I had to go home and lie down in agony thanks to waist belt-induced indigestion. Of course, Mossy, the patron saint of Noughties style, was on Canale’s radar when it came to dressing Saltburn’s students. The costume designer tracked down styles from the model’s first fashion collection for Topshop, which would have been seriously hot property around the period in which the film is set. More than 15 years on, I still have near-perfect recall of almost every piece, because I wanted them so much: the silvery halter-neck gown, the red skinny jeans, the patterned shorts crying out to be layered over a pair of 60 denier opaque tights. I’m pretty sure those designs are probably seared onto my poor, long-suffering mum’s memory, too. Like some sort of mini Miranda Priestly, I sent her trawling round all the Topshops in the Liverpool City Region to try and find the sell-out pansy print tea dress from Kate’s line. Why didn’t I do it myself? Too busy stomping around Snowdonia, attempting to get a bronze Duke of Edinburgh award, having been gaslighted into believing that this would prompt paroxysms of admiration from university admissions staff. She never did find the dress, but I managed to get hold of one years later, when Moss re-released some of her greatest hits to mark her final Topshop collection. It shrunk to unwearable dimensions after a few washes, but I still have it hanging in my wardrobe like a tiny floral trophy. Perhaps one day I’ll sell it on Vinted to a Gen-Zer who can’t remember the Noughties but likes the retro aesthetic (I’d have to label it “worn, with minor fake tan stains”, though). But most likely I’ll keep hold of it. The clothes we wear when we don’t quite know who we are or what we’re doing with our lives are a bit cringe-worthy, yes, but they’re also strangely endearing. Much as the rational part of my brain might be horrified by its baffling silhouettes and bizarre accessories, I’ll always have a soft spot for Noughties fashion – just don’t expect to see me in a waistcoat any time soon. Read More Chris Pine defends his short shorts Balenciaga divides with release of ‘absurd’ $925 bath towel skirt Women’s scarves and crocheted ties - what is Robert Peston wearing now?

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In a nutshell: A family-friendly Lakes bolthole with an exceptional spa and CBD treatments. The neighbourhood Benefiting from a picturesque riverside location, complete with gliding swans, grassy terrace and a 15th-century stone bridge, The Swan is conveniently located at the foot of the Lake District, just 20 minutes from the M6. Lake Windermere is a mile away, with Kendall to the east and Ambleside to the north. For a laid-back induction to the region, hop on the Lakeside and Haverthwaite Steam Railway, located five minutes away, for a slice of nostalgia and some glorious scenery. The look The Swan began life in the 17th-century as a coaching inn, but has evolved dramatically in the intervening years. While the whitewashed main building remains, it has been sympathetically restored and expanded. After suffering significant damage in the 2015 floods, the property was substantially refurbished and remains in top-notch condition, with the smell of new paint still detectable in our room. Inside, floral walls, bold prints and sumptuous furnishings abound, alongside more traditional elements, such as oak beams, wooden floorboards and Chesterfield sofas. The hotel also has its own resident artist and illustrator, Olivia Axson, whose work can be found throughout the property. The vibe Relaxed, unstuffy and family-friendly, you can feel your shoulders drop upon arrival at The Swan. While the calibre of hotels in this part of the world has continued to grow, The Swan retains a pleasantly unpretentious feel without scrimping on quality. While many guests visit for the pampering on offer, the hotel balances the demands of both kids and adults beautifully. The surrounding countryside speaks for itself, with many visitors to the region keen to explore its many peaks, but it’s too polished to fall into the category of a traditional walker’s hotel. Bed and bath As part of the recent uplift, The Swan created 26 new bedrooms, including two Splendid suites, Family suites and a bespoke studio cottage for romantic getaways called The Love Nest. However, all 82 rooms and suites have a contemporary feel with blue and green tones reflecting the natural environment. Statement headboards, soft furnishings and wool blankets accompany rainwater showers, while the Loft suites feature exposed beams, roll-top bathtubs and electric log burners for when the weather gets cooler. Read more about Lake District travel: The ultimate Lake District travel guide How to do the Lake District car-free The best Christmas breaks in the Lake District As with everything in the hotel, the emphasis is very much focused on spotlighting local producers, something that extends from the in-room vegan toiletries courtesy of Bath House, to the sustainable carpets made from local wool. Family rooms are spacious, with bespoke bunk beds for little ones and PS4s to keep them entertained. Even the smallest Cosy rooms are attractive, with almost all rooms throughout the hotel offering views over the river or gardens. Guests planning a romantic night away should opt for the Love Nest, a bright, airy and spacious cottage tucked away within the grounds of the property. Features include a private terrace with outdoor fireplace, double walk-in rainwater showers, roll-top bath and indoor log burner. Many of the rooms offer complimentary access to the Holte Spa, while others require a £20 supplement. Food and drink Eating options on offer at The Swan include the health-conscious SOUL cafe adjacent to the Holte Spa. Here, guests can enjoy light meals such as salads, soups and fish dishes on the outdoor sun terrace, or indulge in homemade cakes and sweet treats. On the other side of the property, the Swan Inn serves up classic pub grub, such as fish and chips, burgers and sandwiches in a bright and cheery space, but it’s the Brasserie that really delivers. We devoured bouncy and tender scallops and locally sourced beef, while a helpful wine list suggests varieties based on your personal tastes, all contributing to an accessible and unpretentious dining experience. Service was warm, personable and prompt, despite a packed dining room. The hotel also offers afternoon tea on the riverside terrace in good weather. Pools, spas and public areas The Swan’s Holte Spa opened to much fanfare in April 2022 as the Lake District’s first spa garden. This multi-million pound extension includes a Finnish sauna, outdoor jacuzzi, and chemical-free hydrotherapy indoor pool that extends outside, with jets and waterfalls to relieve tension. Inside the spa, there are six treatment rooms, experience showers, a sauna and steam room, plus plenty of space to lounge and relax. The spa has partnered with three sustainable brands, including OTO, a leading CBD brand, Ground Wellbeing, a natural and plant-based Irish brand, and Comfort Zone, a B-Corp certified skincare. We opted for the OTO Signature CBD Massage Experience which ranks as one of the best massages I’ve ever had. A dream combination of experienced hands, CBD oils and a bamboo roller designed to iron out muscular kinks induced a profoundly deep state of relaxation that saw me floating back to my room with a smile on my face. Other treatments include a Balancing Ritual specifically aimed at perimenopausal and menopausal guests, and a signature Walkers Massage designed to ease aching limbs after a day on the fells. An onsite health club includes a larger pool, hot tub and sauna which was largely populated by families during our visit. Elsewhere, there are plenty of nooks and crannies to chill out in with a book, play a round of pool, or sip a drink on the riverside terrace. Kids can also enjoy an adventure playground and nature trail. Nuts and bolts Room count: 82 rooms and suites and four cottages. Wifi: Free. Extra charges: Guests in Cosy, Lovely and Fabulous rooms must pay a £20 surcharge for Holte Spa access. Disability access: Four accessible rooms with extra space and walk-in showers. The Swan Inn, Holte Spa, health club and snug areas are all accessible for wheelchair users and all external entrances have ramps for guests. Pet policy: Pet pooches are welcome in selected rooms for a £35 nightly surcharge. Bottom line Best thing: The OTO CBD massage experience. Sublime. I’ve waxed lyrical about it to anyone prepared to listen ever since my visit. Worst thing: While easily accessible, the nearby A590 is a busy road meaning the hotel isn’t the best spot for those seeking a quiet and remote stay. Perfect for: Families and spa fanatics. Not right for: Those seeking a hushed getaway. The hotel is busy and there are plenty of intergenerational families with children around. Instagram from: The outdoor pool at the Holte Spa. More information: swanhotel.com Read more of our UK hotel reviews: Best hotels in London Where to stay in the Lake District Best hotels in Edinburgh Read More The best dog-friendly Christmas breaks in the UK The best Christmas hotel breaks by the sea Why you should explore the Cotswolds by bike Why you should explore the Cotswolds by bike Stay in the heart of the action with this bougie new hotel in London’s Covent Garden How to find a stylish countryside escape without compromising on comfort